Creating our own Success

What is success? Some would say that it is determined by financial wealth, but I believe that success is based on the level of self-actualization we have achieved: a knowledge of who we are and what we believe in; an abundance of experiences that help us shape our own destinies; and the ability to choose how to live our lives.

Each of us is born into our own reality over which we have no control. But we reach a point where we can assume control; where, by our attitude and actions, we can stay on the path laid before us – or change the course of our lives. How we CHOOSE to handle a situation, tackle a problem, respond to what comes our way is what defines us and our success in life.

As the 7th of 9 children I started life with an abundance of “hardships”: being born prematurely, arriving home 3 weeks after my twin sister, spending my first few months of life in a bureau drawer. In the bedroom I shared with a plethora of relatives (my twin sister, an older sister and brother, my mother and father - and later my youngest brother), I learned early on how to “make the most of a situation”.

Learning to cope; to rise to the occasion (and above many others); to find the benefits in every experience, has been the key to my own success in life; success that I largely define in the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson:

I have achieved all of the above…and my guess is that most people have achieved this level of success. But many see success as a much more complicated issue and one that is often determined by material prosperity. They find it difficult to enjoy, appreciate and relish the type of success that comes from living a good life, being a good person, making a tiny little mark in the world. Seems we (collectively) want to make the most money, have the most things and be the most famous…but that kind of success is rare - and those who find it don’t often seem content. You see examples of false success all around: actors, professional athletes, musicians, business men and women, etc. who apparently have it “all”, but continually get in trouble with relationships, drugs and alcohol, even finances because what they HAVE does not satisfy them.

Success is not what we have; it is what –
and who - we are!

Living with an abusive, alcoholic father until I was 5 years old, then surviving the poverty that came from a single mother raising nine children alone, had its benefits: I learned how to work, to plan, to be part of a team, to be resourceful. I also learned how I DIDN’T want to live. I didn’t necessarily know how I wanted to live - and I certainly didn’t have the tools (early guidance and encouragement, a college degree or marketable skill, or even a mentor) to direct my early life; but I did possess an incredible ability to adapt, the courage to move outside of my comfort zone and the wisdom (by the Grace of God, I’m sure) to make the most of every opportunity that came my way. I also had the ability to learn, a desire to achieve and a good set of values. In spite of the many hardships I’ve had to overcome (deaths of loved ones, delibitating diseases, bouts of depression, financial hardships, business nightmares, divorce, raising a high maintenance child alone, the loss of business and personal dreams), I’ve had a good life - a rich life; one that has enabled me to be my own person and make my own way. In my journey I have raised a responsible, self-reliant, SUCCESSFUL child and have mentored numerous friends, relatives, customers and suppliers on achieving their own success. But I believe that the key to achieving our own success is to first define what that means to us!

Let me help you identify your vision of success and devise a plan to achieve it!